A robed figure speaks an incantation and gestures with intent as matter swirls about him. Seconds later, you witness the world around you shift and distort as otherworldly light dances through the room. Soon, you are standing inside a grand illusion, unsure what is real. You rejoice as you are greeted by a young woman. "Welcome to Applebee's," she says. "You've made it just in time for half-priced margaritas."

Adorn yourself in a short sleeved poly-cotton blend and feel the power of the wizard course through you. Art by the incomparable Bobby Griffiths.

"No, no, this is good. He's having an existential crisis. It's a sort of anguish people go through when they contemplate the silent indifference of our empty universe. Look, the good news is, if he can work through this, it's the first step towards understanding human ethics."

Proudly display your indifference toward existence and/or your love of Ted Danson and quality television with this tee designed by Dave Frenson and printed on Gildan Heavy Cotton shirts.

A robed figure speaks an incantation and gestures with intent as matter swirls about him. Seconds later, you witness the world around you shift and distort as otherworldly light dances through the room. Soon, you are standing inside a grand illusion, unsure what is real. You rejoice as you are greeted by a young woman. "Welcome to Applebee's," she says. "You've made it just in time for half-priced margaritas."

Adorn yourself in a long sleeved poly-cotton blend and feel the power of the wizard course through you. Art by the incomparable Bobby Griffiths.

A black, 100% ring spun cotton tee sits before you. As it adorns your body, you feel a great pulse of arcane energy rush through you. You feel the softness of the garment as your fingertips begin to tingle with magical power, and you can see the true nature of the universe.

Grants +1 to Charisma and advantage to all Arcana rolls.

People still buy CDs, right?

It is late as you sit by the campfire. You have chosen to take first watch as your party slumbers near you. Deep in the woods, you hear a rustling of leaves. As you squint to catch a glimpse of what creature has wandered toward you, you see the light of the fire glint off of a sharp beak. You breathe in deeply to let out a scream, but the creature approaches you calmly and offers you a beverage it has kept nice and cold in a foam sheath. "Thank you," you say. "Let's crush some beers," it replies.